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6.27.2005

A Tired Morning 

My depression is getting worse.

Some days are better than others. Today is not a good day. Yesterday was not a good day. Saturday was better, because I got to spend it with the Georgia Ghetto Floss Lickers at Val's Get Together. It was quite a merry jaunt, and I had a great time. I may even be able to host one myself in the fall, but we shall see.

Today, however, I am back feeling depressed. I don't know what to do. Part of it is my mood: one minute I'll read something and be deliriously happy, and the next I'll read something else and be miserable. It's the pits. I've always been this way, but it's been kind of bad lately.

A lot of it is spiritual attacks, I'm convinced. The more a person hungers for God's Word, the more the enemy flings his fiery darts. Blech. Oh, well...I've read the end of the Book, and I know how the devil gets it in the end. No worries.

As far as the internet community goes, I have tried my best to be the encouraging one for people. I have tried to tread softly, speaking my mind in peace. I have flaked out a couple of times and let my temper set the pace, but I've always publicly apologized when I was wrong. I've tried my best to fit in, but lately I have felt so alien. I don't know why. I just don't know why. I feel like I'm on the outside looking in. I've never quite felt this way before, so it's a new experience for me. I don't bring this to the boards, because I've seen people get backlashed before for "complaining" too much, and I certainly don't want anyone to think I'm complaining. I'm truly not; I'm just trying to muddle through my thoughts.

I actually feel bad for you, the readers, because in the past I've been light and border-line comedic in my entries. I've had some deep ones, I know, but things were more "up" at Fully Caffeinated. I just can't do that right now. I wish I could, but there is just too much gravity within me.

Keep praying for me. I can sure use the prayers.
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