Warning: this is a fly-by-the-seats kind of post, so you may or may not know what I'm talking about. That's okay, for I rarely know myself...

Sometimes I just want to give up.

My husband and I are working on my art site, so I can put my artwork out there and really promote it. I will be offering prints for sale, and a few special items, and last week I was really excited about this venture. But now?

Harumph.

I don't think I can do this. I don't think I have the drive, the stamina, or the grit to really give this a go. And, to top it off, I'm too sensitive. The pure cynicist in me says it's just not going to happen. The sensible one within me wants to slap the cynicist upside the head and tell it to shut up, that I'm just being stupid.

And I know I am.

The truth is, I was afraid of this when I started painting again. I get too involved in my paintings, too attached. When a painting is not liked or appreciated, I take it as a personal rejection, because that painting is a part of me. This is not a good attitude for a artist to have, and if cornered on it I will deny I said it until the day I die.

And now for the guilt: some people right now have nothing, and I have everything. That makes my pity-party all the more insidious.

sigh. I think I need to go back to caffeine. This decaffeinated stuff just isn't worth it's salt sometimes.
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